It was cold outside and started raining. Because of the weather children had a little short time on the playground. When children came back to the classroom and ready for the circle time, N arrived at school. He was unhappy about no chance to play outside. When his father left, N’s crying got louder and harder. I started helping him escape from his unhappy feelings. When he started his tantrum, my aim was to help him calm down first, and then help him take off his coat (shoes, hat), and take him to the circle as soon as possible.

Right after his father left, I hold him –sitting him on my lap- and kept saying "You are okay. Calm down. All done crying…" When his crying decreased and almost stopped, I said "Thank you for stopping crying." And then I took off his hat and coat very slowly and carefully. When I tried putting on his slippers on, he resisted physically and started crying loudly. So I started trying to calm him down.

Because his tantrum was getting longer than usual, P, his teacher, came over and started handling the situation. She first stood him up from my lap and asked him with firm voice to be done with crying. I saw N crying harder. And then she took him in front of the glass-door to let him look at outside and to help him understand it is raining so he can’t play outside. Then P left him. He cried for a while. Then he stopped crying soon and I saw him touching and kind of playing with a material (big beads). He also began to put his slippers on voluntarily. It was amazing to me.

I really liked her way of handling. While watching her handling, I felt that Nick was not the only person who was stuck in his feeling. I was too. I was only thinking about putting his slippers on as soon as possible. I should have tried to change the situation first such as moving him to more quiet and relaxing place like a book area, or taking him to the glass-door so he can look at the weather like P did. So he has the chance to get out of his stuck unhappy feelings with help of new environment.

Later P told me that sometimes he calms down better by himself and sometimes he does with someone’s help. From this experience I also learned to expect the possible tantrum or negative behavior of a child with autism, and to prepare for some helpful skills when the weather is not good so it impacts the daily schedule.

Related Link:

• Read Nickolaus' Behavior Intervention Plan