While working as a facilitator of the children with special needs, almost everyday I confront peers’ questions and curiosities about the conditions of disability or the children with a disability. Sometimes I can answer to their questions confidently, but sometimes I can’t because their questions or descriptions are somewhat difficult. Well, it might be more correct to say that the difficult part is not the questions themselves, but the way to address the answer to the children, considering not only their age or understanding levels but also respecting the dignity of the child with a disability. To address the answers appropriately is really important in that it helps the peer build positive attitude or relationship with the child with a disability.

One day, during lunchtime, I was eating my lunch, sitting by N, who had autism. As usual, he was drinking his juice, brought from home, unlike other children, who drank milk. A peer asked me, "Why is he not drinking milk?" I answered, "Because he doesn’t like milk." Right after my answer, another peer, E, on the same table said something like "His doctor said he should drink juice." I thought E’s answer was much better than mine in helping children understand and accept the difference of their friend.

Children with special needs don’t always depend on teachers to handle their friends’ questions. As an example, the other day I saw G asking a question of M, who had a hearing disability, "What are the purple things on your ears?" Then M replied, "It’s a hearing aid. I told you." Then they kept talking on other things. Watching that scene, I was pleased to see how naturally they were talking about a disability. Above all, I liked the way that M responded to his friend’s question clearly and confidently.

Another important role of teachers in inclusive settings is to interpret the communication or interactions between the child with a disability and typically developing children. For example, one day, children were getting in line to go outside. N, who had autism, was standing at the third or fourth from the end. At a certain point, N turned around in line and told C, standing right behind N, "Go away". Definitely he meant, "Go first." While expecting C’s negative response to that because "Go away" was not a nice asking, I was going to tell him that N meant he wanted you to go first. However, C right away took N’s words positively and even told N "Thank you" with smile. I was glad to see their positive interaction.

However, it seems to be easier for peers to have negative attitude than to have positive attitude toward the child with a disability, especially who has challenging behaviors. The other day, N with autism got fascinated with a dinosaur book that his peer, J, was using for his work. N’s watching and touching the book was definitely bothering Js work, breaking J’s concentration. J looked bothered and frustrated, but just let N do so without saying anything. I told J to ask N to stop and leave because he is bothering. Then J said, "But he always doesn’t listen." For a couple of seconds, I didn’t know what to say. J was expecting N’s tantrum in case he ask N to leave. I just told him again that he still needed to express his thoughts to N. Finally I had to move N forcefully because he didn’t listen to J and me. J’s answer showed that he had negative attitude toward N.
This experience let me keep thinking about my role at that situation. Once again I realized that one of my important roles, as a facilitator, is to bridge the gap between the child with a disability and his peers in order to help their healthy and positive relationships.

Related Link:

• Tips for Answering Children's Questions About Disabilities (from the Circle of Inclusion Guidelines)